I saw footage of myself surfing and now I'm sad

June 5, 2019

 GoPros... ensuring average surfers like you and me can watch ourselves do average turns on average waves since 2004

 

When we see footage of ourselves surfing for the very first time, our world comes crashing down.

 

Those stylish bottom turns? Nothing but straight-legged atrocities.

 

That roster tail snap in the pocket? About as vertical as a welcome mat.

 

The inside drainer you thought you tucked into? Didn’t even barrel over the back of your leggie.

 

You try to tell yourself the footage is cooked.

 

That it’s just a cruel joke perpetrated by your well-meaning mate.

 

Or maybe *please god* just maybe *let it be true my saviour* it’s a case of mistaken identity.

 

The sad, depressing truth though is that it can be brutal seeing ourselves surf for the very first time, because we think what feels good, must look good.

 

Instead, all we’re doing is stinking up the joint with a severe poo man stance and a shameful lack of speed, throwing thimbles of spray out to the shoulder and putting on a show for an audience of zero.

 

It actually hurts.

 

Hurts like being spurned by a long distance lover or a bareback roll in a patch of vicious bindies.

 

But, before you toss your board under the bed and dedicate yourself to a life of self-flagellation by surf mat, try to view the footage as an opportunity to straighten your shit out.

 

Sure, your style may be about as sexy as your grandma’s haemorrhoids, but by watching, studying and learning from your mistakes you can improve much quicker than someone who’s happy to live in denial.

 

Of course, you may not care at all about improving your surfing, choosing instead to resign yourself to a life of, “the best surfer is the one having the most fun”, but my idea of fun is back foot, rail-to-rail, up and down surfing in epic waves.

 

So, the next time you see footage of yourself and feel like having a good ol’ sob; purse those lips, blink hard and fast and maybe let your inner critic say a few words in court.

 

Because all of us look like a t-rex trying to hump a doorknob the first time we see ourselves on film…

 

The real question is: are you’re willing to suck it all up and take your surfing to the level of a stegosaurus on a skateboard?

 

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