I’m often asked what I think the best thing about the freelancer lifestyle is. The obvious one is the fact that I can travel and still maintain a steady income. I can also keep my daily routine relatively flexible – if I feel like eating lunch at 12 instead of 1 or want to surf for an hour or so, I don’t have to clock out.
I can even set up the miniature Ping-Pong table and go a few rounds with Hootie if I’m so inclined. Yes that flexibility is fantastic, but so is being my own boss. This means working on projects that I enjoy and relishing any opportunity to improve my business.
Plus, I can't get fired.
Sending a last minute message before GAME ON!
But the absolute, number one, undisputed best thing about living the freelancer lifestyle is something much more personal. To me, the best thing about working from home is the fact that I can work naked.
Ok, maybe not “butt naked”, but essentially I can sit in my underwear or boardies and tap away till my hearts content. There’s no fear of my boss walking in on me, or a colleague glimpsing the Casper-esque complexion of my upper thigh. I can get up, go through my morning routine, and then plant my ass down in a chair, bare-chested and shoeless as I wade through my emails.
Try not to smile
I know what you’re thinking. Out of all the reasons why one would become a freelancer, how is work sin clothing numero uno?
The truth is that I enjoy the freelance lifestyle even more because I worked in an office for four years. That’s four years of wearing French cuffed shirts, four years of polishing shoes (my own, in case you’re wondering) and four years of hitching up itchy pants over near nonexistent hips and a flat ass. That’s four whole years of being slave to the idea that wearing decorated fabric around your neck makes you look, “more professional”!
Me and this bloke both have hips like a snake and the same amount of talent when it comes to skimboarding
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not against dressing up for the occasion. I more than happy to sport a dapper getup for the races or don a suit for my mates wedding – that’s fun. What’s just as fun however is putting on a pair of boardshorts first thing in the morning to go to work.
Most of the time, that’s the same pair of boardies that I shimmied out of when I got into bed the night before. Shit, I’ll admit that if I have to work on the weekend, I probably won’t even get out of my Reg Grundy’s until about 12pm!
I guess wearing a business suit is still more practical than wearing this, but I'll choose the freelance lifestyle over both any day!
There’s no better indicator of a productive Saturday morning than realising I’m still in my undies when it comes time for lunch.
This is something unique to the freelance lifestyle, and it obviously can’t be adapted if you’re a tradie, banker or fishmonger (although, those big rubber aprons could do well to conceal everything).
Never trust a man in an apron
I also wouldn’t recommend frying up anything that has potential to spit oil at you whilst not adequately clothed. But maybe next time you’ve got something you need to do in front of the lappy, you too can rep the flesh suit and enjoy the gentle breeze tickling your unmentionables… or at the very least, think of me while you do it.
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